I was wrong

There's a girl I've known for almost 15 years. I've always quite liked her as she's generally sunny and good company, but I never thought much of her values and some of her attitudes to life. I always thought she was a bit on the selfish side and a user. That's probably another reason I liked her so much, because we're so different and part of me was fascinated by this difference. Then she had a child a few years ago. Maybe having this child changed something in her, or more likely I was just wrong in my assessment of her, but whatever the reason, I've been finding her more and more of a rock in the past year or so.

It started when I was debating whether to accept the redundancy, over a year ago; it continued in the month just before I was made redundant, when I was panicking about being jobless for practically the first time in my life and telling myself I'd made the wrong choice.
And suddenly I had all this time on my hands, which meant I saw a lot more of her than at any other time since I met her (although not as much as I'd envisioned while I was still working, as I ended up being quite busy even without a job). Almost naturally I started spilling the beans when things weren't exactly as I would have hoped, on whatever front.

And there's a time for sympathy, but there's also a time for having some sense slapped in your face. Lisa is pretty good at that. She somehow manages to be there, when her own life is all over the place, and say just the right thing at the right time. She can be very brutal, but the important thing is that she's usually right and it's good to be reminded of a few home truths by someone you know is on your side and knows exactly what you're talking about, however brutal they might be at that moment.

It's pretty good to be reminded that things are really simple. They're only as complicated as you want them to be, but in reality they're pretty clear cut.

And in the past few weeks she's reminded me that I'm not as bad as I'd started to feel about myself; that if you care for someone you respect them; that you should never give unconditionally; that if you haven't learnt basic laws of simple human decency by the time you're 30, well, that's really nobody else's problems but yours and why should anyone bother explaining them to you; that I'm not responsible for anybody's problems that they brought upon themselves, therefore I shouldn't worry too much and pussyfoot around in fear of making them worse and feeling guilty about them; that you should only do something if it's good for you, even if it might indirectly negatively affect someone who's been hurting you for months with no thoughts of how badly they were making you feel. Most of all, that a liar's a liar's a liar. Very simple.

All obvious stuff, isn't it? But sometimes I do need to have it brutally slapped in my face, and this time was one of those.

And it's good to have friends, even (especially?) if they prove you wrong :)