I thought the worst spin had seen a more or less quiet death with Bliar leaving office, but now it seems the current PM is all for it too.
Gordon, when I wondered if it weren't the ship that should be left to sink while you led the country with a different party, I was joking. I wasn't seriously implying that you should join the BNP. Honest!
There's something called the "Housing Act 1996". It makes quite an interesting read but I'll sum it up briefly here.
To get council housing you need to be a "qualifying person". To be a "qualifying person" you have to meet these criteria:
1 - be homeless or threatened with homelessness
2 - not be intentionally homeless
3 - be in priority need
4 - be eligible for public assistance
5 - have a local connection
As you can see the "local people" are already being taken care of (also by extra points being awarded to children of local residents), but what you might not be aware of, Gordon, is that a person who is subject to immigration controls is not eligible for public assistance (with very few exceptions). Therefore, your very nice words about giving more houses to "local people" (and out of curiosity, would these "local people" be white, Anglo-Saxon Protestants?) are really just a load of bulls, unless of course you want to breach every equality rule in the book.
It's true that there is a "perception" that the current system is unfair, but a government is there to lead, not to react hysterically when they see a few BNP voters. Maybe it went completely over your head, but those seats they gained weren't due to an enormous increase in votes they took, just to the fact that Labour voters stayed at home 'cos they're sick and tired of your crap.
The current perception is due to the fact that there is a dearth of social housing. I don't for a minute profess to know the solution to that, but surely stoking up racist flames isn't it.
In other news: shame that Mr Weaver can't claim the costs on expenses. I almost feel like starting a whip-round.
And relatedly: don't you feel sorry for the Keens? Nor do I.
I have a business suggestion for AEG Live: for anyone who chooses to keep the ticket instead of getting a refund, why not throw in a free MUG, with one of those tacky mirrory thingies stuck on the side?
Finally, for the "You Don't Say!" series: having a lot of sex increases your chances of getting pregnant. And for when I have a headache, please meet Ms Palm.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
NSFW
Well, I can't think of many things this would be safe for. In fact, I'm writing this with blood pouring out of my ears and eyes.
Don't these guys have mothers who beg them not to go out in the world and make arses of themselves? Don't they have girlfriends, or even a few Metal friends, who tell them that you *do not* do that sort of cover wearing a white plastic belt holding up your black jeans, where you've tucked your t-shirt in? With your hand in your pocket? And wearing a cap? Doing your own backing vocals? While strolling along the stage as if in B&Q?
Has it not occurred to them why they were called "headbangers"? I guess the only headbanging this lot has done was just before they agreed to go on stage, it's amazing what a concussion can do to you.
And did nobody tell them that the Bontempi keyboard is ok to play for your grandparents after a Christmas slap-up, when you're, oh, I don't know, 10?
Why did the roadie not unplug, at the very least, the, ahem, singer and, ahem, keyboard player? I mean, the guitarist was no Satriani, but if he and the drummer took a few lessons they might have a chance.
Now, *this* is how you do it. Look at the three cellists and tell me they're not having a collective orgasm!
Or, if you prefer the original thing, check this and drool.
Even a little older and calmer, the boys still rock.
And this is just too good for words!
Errr... I think I have just given away one of my guilty secrets :)))
Don't these guys have mothers who beg them not to go out in the world and make arses of themselves? Don't they have girlfriends, or even a few Metal friends, who tell them that you *do not* do that sort of cover wearing a white plastic belt holding up your black jeans, where you've tucked your t-shirt in? With your hand in your pocket? And wearing a cap? Doing your own backing vocals? While strolling along the stage as if in B&Q?
Has it not occurred to them why they were called "headbangers"? I guess the only headbanging this lot has done was just before they agreed to go on stage, it's amazing what a concussion can do to you.
And did nobody tell them that the Bontempi keyboard is ok to play for your grandparents after a Christmas slap-up, when you're, oh, I don't know, 10?
Why did the roadie not unplug, at the very least, the, ahem, singer and, ahem, keyboard player? I mean, the guitarist was no Satriani, but if he and the drummer took a few lessons they might have a chance.
Now, *this* is how you do it. Look at the three cellists and tell me they're not having a collective orgasm!
Or, if you prefer the original thing, check this and drool.
Even a little older and calmer, the boys still rock.
And this is just too good for words!
Errr... I think I have just given away one of my guilty secrets :)))
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Why geeks are (mostly) men
Hottest Girls.
[...] images of topless, sexy babes and nude models.
Popular, Asian, Blonde, Brunette and Swimsuit.
[...] nipples to be seen.
No, seriously, and who would that appeal to? Hmmmmm... lemme think, I might have to ask the audience here...
Oh, wait. A gangly, spotty, pre-teen boy whose hormones are starting to kick. Well, they do when Miss wears those 4-inch heels.
"Are you over 17?" Like fuc... er.. 'course I am.
And if they can get it from iTunes, they won't even have to explain what that "Big Tits Unlimited" is on mum's credit card.
Even Apple, that bastion of innovation and forward thinking, got caught up in this one. Why can't they grasp the concept that there are women around too, and that the first person to provide decent pornographic material that doesn't revolve around the tits and arses of teen-looking girls will be laughing all the way to the bank?
[...] images of topless, sexy babes and nude models.
Popular, Asian, Blonde, Brunette and Swimsuit.
[...] nipples to be seen.
No, seriously, and who would that appeal to? Hmmmmm... lemme think, I might have to ask the audience here...
Oh, wait. A gangly, spotty, pre-teen boy whose hormones are starting to kick. Well, they do when Miss wears those 4-inch heels.
"Are you over 17?" Like fuc... er.. 'course I am.
And if they can get it from iTunes, they won't even have to explain what that "Big Tits Unlimited" is on mum's credit card.
Even Apple, that bastion of innovation and forward thinking, got caught up in this one. Why can't they grasp the concept that there are women around too, and that the first person to provide decent pornographic material that doesn't revolve around the tits and arses of teen-looking girls will be laughing all the way to the bank?
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
So soothe me!
That's what he did. It only took one phone call to scatter the nightmares away. I just wish there was a bit more time...
Friday, June 19, 2009
Do the right thing
But was it?
And if it was, why does it hurt so much? Why do I feel sick? Why do I feel like I've ripped myself apart? Why do I want to pick up the phone and tap a text? Why do I want to click "send" on that email?
Why could I not see an alternative? Why could I not be stronger? Why am I so needy? Why do I want to sleep myself into oblivion? Why is there just one thought in my mind?
And if it was, why does it hurt so much? Why do I feel sick? Why do I feel like I've ripped myself apart? Why do I want to pick up the phone and tap a text? Why do I want to click "send" on that email?
Why could I not see an alternative? Why could I not be stronger? Why am I so needy? Why do I want to sleep myself into oblivion? Why is there just one thought in my mind?
On the buses
Well, I was on the Tube, to tell the truth... this morning, with 29 (I counted them!) children no older than 8, accompanied by a few adults - teachers and parents, I assume. There were also tourists and some suits, all of whom could have taken civility lessons from the 8-year olds, but that's another story.
What really, really struck me was that while most of the adults were white (except 1 or 2 out of about 6 or 7), all the children bar one were non white. Mostly African or Caribbean, with a couple of Asian-looking ones. Even the one white boy didn't look British or Northern European, but maybe Turkish.
It was really cute, all these little children behaving themselves really well, some of them even scolding one of the others if they felt they were wriggling around too much, or talking too loudly, or encroaching on someone else's space.
And then I thought: in the improbable event that the BNP gets its way, who's going to pay Mr Griffin's pension???
What really, really struck me was that while most of the adults were white (except 1 or 2 out of about 6 or 7), all the children bar one were non white. Mostly African or Caribbean, with a couple of Asian-looking ones. Even the one white boy didn't look British or Northern European, but maybe Turkish.
It was really cute, all these little children behaving themselves really well, some of them even scolding one of the others if they felt they were wriggling around too much, or talking too loudly, or encroaching on someone else's space.
And then I thought: in the improbable event that the BNP gets its way, who's going to pay Mr Griffin's pension???
Thursday, June 18, 2009
I feel cheated! Open letter to Jeremy Corbyn MP
Dear Mr Corbyn
I have been shocked at this scandal about MP expenses. You wouldn't believe the anguish and upset it's caused me. We all know why people get into politics. Serving the people. Giving something back to the community. Making a change. Working for a better future. Standing up for what's right.
Bollox. People get into politics so they can have a cushy job for a few years, then retire on a decent pension plus sky-high consultancy fees and Middle-Eastern peace envoy missions, and that's before the lecturing tours. So it's shocking that it took so long for the British media to get a decent story out of it, but finally the Telegraph cracked it and managed to give us something to moan about (although I have to say that even so, compared to some people this lot are a bunch of amateurs).
You can imagine my glee as I set about picking your claims apart, savouring the anticipation of firing off an email to the BBC, expressing my indignation at your blatant disregard for us righteous tax-payers. But nothing had prepared me for what I found.
£15-£50 phone bills.
Almost £30 at the local Ryman for files, notebooks and printing paper (recycled). And I note that the files and notebooks are blue... obviously ready to jump to the other side at the flick of a pen.
Ink and toner cartridges (refills).
Business cards (two colours... you see, it's the Blues again!).
Hall hires, tea bags and fruit teas, medium and rich roast coffees, semi-skimmed milk, rich teas and fairtrade sugar for constituents coffee mornings.
Rent paid to the Ethical Property Company.
I couldn't bear to pore over the claims you made before 2007, I was just too upset.
How do you expect us to go to work tomorrow, and fit in with our colleagues??? What are we going to talk about? What are we going to say when the boss comes in all wound up at her MP's claim for a 5th home in Paris, complete with frog pond and a full collection of Carla Bruni's lost porn flicks on Blue-ray?
"Oh, don't tell me! *My* MP got the old ladies fairtrade sugar, but then he went and blew 3 quid on Nescafe! How disgusting is that!"
No, seriously, couldn't you at least have hired a bunny to waltz around the room with jammie dodgers-laden trays at one of the meetings?
Very Upset in North Islington
I have been shocked at this scandal about MP expenses. You wouldn't believe the anguish and upset it's caused me. We all know why people get into politics. Serving the people. Giving something back to the community. Making a change. Working for a better future. Standing up for what's right.
Bollox. People get into politics so they can have a cushy job for a few years, then retire on a decent pension plus sky-high consultancy fees and Middle-Eastern peace envoy missions, and that's before the lecturing tours. So it's shocking that it took so long for the British media to get a decent story out of it, but finally the Telegraph cracked it and managed to give us something to moan about (although I have to say that even so, compared to some people this lot are a bunch of amateurs).
You can imagine my glee as I set about picking your claims apart, savouring the anticipation of firing off an email to the BBC, expressing my indignation at your blatant disregard for us righteous tax-payers. But nothing had prepared me for what I found.
£15-£50 phone bills.
Almost £30 at the local Ryman for files, notebooks and printing paper (recycled). And I note that the files and notebooks are blue... obviously ready to jump to the other side at the flick of a pen.
Ink and toner cartridges (refills).
Business cards (two colours... you see, it's the Blues again!).
Hall hires, tea bags and fruit teas, medium and rich roast coffees, semi-skimmed milk, rich teas and fairtrade sugar for constituents coffee mornings.
Rent paid to the Ethical Property Company.
I couldn't bear to pore over the claims you made before 2007, I was just too upset.
How do you expect us to go to work tomorrow, and fit in with our colleagues??? What are we going to talk about? What are we going to say when the boss comes in all wound up at her MP's claim for a 5th home in Paris, complete with frog pond and a full collection of Carla Bruni's lost porn flicks on Blue-ray?
"Oh, don't tell me! *My* MP got the old ladies fairtrade sugar, but then he went and blew 3 quid on Nescafe! How disgusting is that!"
No, seriously, couldn't you at least have hired a bunny to waltz around the room with jammie dodgers-laden trays at one of the meetings?
Very Upset in North Islington
Monday, June 15, 2009
The little red dress
I fail to see how the subject being a Muslim has any relevance when reporting a sex discrimination case.
Is the BBC saying that if the woman hadn't been a Muslim she'd have quietly acquiesced to wearing something that was most definitely humiliating and demeaning to her *only* because she was a woman? Is Auntie saying that the lady in question only kicked up this fuss because she was some Muslim weirdo, while a nice, blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman would have done her "duty" and gone along with the unfair dress code?
Am I missing something, or is the BBC not even subtly doing propaganda for the BNP? Is it trying to make up for that little slip of the tongue by one of its reporters the other day? Or is it just that they don't have a clue?
Either way, isn't it time they got their act together?
Is the BBC saying that if the woman hadn't been a Muslim she'd have quietly acquiesced to wearing something that was most definitely humiliating and demeaning to her *only* because she was a woman? Is Auntie saying that the lady in question only kicked up this fuss because she was some Muslim weirdo, while a nice, blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman would have done her "duty" and gone along with the unfair dress code?
Am I missing something, or is the BBC not even subtly doing propaganda for the BNP? Is it trying to make up for that little slip of the tongue by one of its reporters the other day? Or is it just that they don't have a clue?
Either way, isn't it time they got their act together?
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Three cheers for democracy!
Or is it?
Much as I dislike the BNP, I can't help but cringe at the hypocrisy shown by these demonstrators. I'm sure if you asked any one of them they'd say: "We must stop this fascist, racist scum from holding their gatherings because they will gag everybody else". Or something along those lines. Without even noticing the irony.
However, this lot could be excused their naivety because they seem to be mainly scraggly students, and we all did that sort of thing when we were scraggly students. We were full of good intentions, we wanted world peace and a spliff, but we didn't really know what we were talking about.
What I don't get is (what I assume is) a BBC commentator saying: "[...] wherever he [Nick Griffin] travels... a lot of thick-set men I think it's fair to say... security is the word but I think they are pretty thick set, I can tell you [...]" (minute 01.07-01.17 in the clip). Now, I may be wrong but I always thought that the BBC was funded by daylight robbery, also known as the licence fee, paid by everybody who uses a TV set to receive programmes, regardless of their political affiliation. In other words, they are supposed to be impartial and unbiased. I assume that, the BNP being so strong on law and order, those 900,000 people who voted them also pay the TV licence. Wouldn't they now have a good case to ask for a refund? I mean, not that it'd be the only one, but I'll gloss over that.
Anyway, just in case you were thinking the BNP is a good idea, check them out here. In a very, very superficial way, their policies could even sound appealing (if you ignore all that crap about white, white, white). What a shame they don't tell you how they'd go about implementing them. Could it be even they realise they're full of shit?
Much as I dislike the BNP, I can't help but cringe at the hypocrisy shown by these demonstrators. I'm sure if you asked any one of them they'd say: "We must stop this fascist, racist scum from holding their gatherings because they will gag everybody else". Or something along those lines. Without even noticing the irony.
However, this lot could be excused their naivety because they seem to be mainly scraggly students, and we all did that sort of thing when we were scraggly students. We were full of good intentions, we wanted world peace and a spliff, but we didn't really know what we were talking about.
What I don't get is (what I assume is) a BBC commentator saying: "[...] wherever he [Nick Griffin] travels... a lot of thick-set men I think it's fair to say... security is the word but I think they are pretty thick set, I can tell you [...]" (minute 01.07-01.17 in the clip). Now, I may be wrong but I always thought that the BBC was funded by daylight robbery, also known as the licence fee, paid by everybody who uses a TV set to receive programmes, regardless of their political affiliation. In other words, they are supposed to be impartial and unbiased. I assume that, the BNP being so strong on law and order, those 900,000 people who voted them also pay the TV licence. Wouldn't they now have a good case to ask for a refund? I mean, not that it'd be the only one, but I'll gloss over that.
Anyway, just in case you were thinking the BNP is a good idea, check them out here. In a very, very superficial way, their policies could even sound appealing (if you ignore all that crap about white, white, white). What a shame they don't tell you how they'd go about implementing them. Could it be even they realise they're full of shit?
Monday, June 08, 2009
Equal ops
It's not just the British politicians that suck.
“What if, instead of a photographer, there had been a terrorist armed with telescopic sights?,” asked Fabrizio Cicchitto, the head of the PdL faction in the Lower House.
Mr Cicchitto, we can only live in hope.
“What if, instead of a photographer, there had been a terrorist armed with telescopic sights?,” asked Fabrizio Cicchitto, the head of the PdL faction in the Lower House.
Mr Cicchitto, we can only live in hope.
Sunday, June 07, 2009
They really can't help...
But keep shooting themeselves in the foot.
Gordon Brown pledges to stick with people in their time of need. Well, it's a good sentiment, and kudos to him for being the only one in his party to feel it.
Lord Falconer reckons that while Brown stays, the Labour party won't unite. Come again? What Labour party?
Peter Hain thinks the European elections results will be terrible, and Nick Raynsford that the next general elections will be disastrous. Smartie points to both of them for seeing the obvious. Although it could be argued that what they are referring to wouldn't be that bad for the country, and as for the late Labour party, you can't kill a corpse, so no harm done there either.
Alan Johnson doesn't "agree that regicide gives you a unified party". I think the poor dear has been a bit confused by Gordon's attempts to be the Queen's knight in shining armour re: the D-Day fuck up.
But does anyone else notice how everybody, except the boss himself, is worrying about the party rather than the country? Could it just be that it's not Gordon Brown that should walk the plank, but the whole ship that should be left to sink while he continues to lead the country with some other party?
Now, that would be interesting!
Gordon Brown pledges to stick with people in their time of need. Well, it's a good sentiment, and kudos to him for being the only one in his party to feel it.
Lord Falconer reckons that while Brown stays, the Labour party won't unite. Come again? What Labour party?
Peter Hain thinks the European elections results will be terrible, and Nick Raynsford that the next general elections will be disastrous. Smartie points to both of them for seeing the obvious. Although it could be argued that what they are referring to wouldn't be that bad for the country, and as for the late Labour party, you can't kill a corpse, so no harm done there either.
Alan Johnson doesn't "agree that regicide gives you a unified party". I think the poor dear has been a bit confused by Gordon's attempts to be the Queen's knight in shining armour re: the D-Day fuck up.
But does anyone else notice how everybody, except the boss himself, is worrying about the party rather than the country? Could it just be that it's not Gordon Brown that should walk the plank, but the whole ship that should be left to sink while he continues to lead the country with some other party?
Now, that would be interesting!
I needed some cheering up...
So thank you to a lot of the people who posted their comments here.
It seems some USAmericans are throwing a strop at having been robbed of their beloved Dubya and his mates. It pisses them off so much that they have to go and flood a British newspaper column with their hilarious whining.
I mean, woe betide President Obama for snubbing Sarko', leader of their great allies... never mind that not so long ago something was renamed "freedom fries". Never mind, even, that the little man himself and his snotty wife had been bad-mouthing the Obamas behind their backs.
And bob forbid trying to start a dialogue with those filthy, dirty, uncouth, rag-headed, Middle-Eastern terrorists. Much better to nuke them, I say!
And what to say about his inability to hold a speech without a Teleprompter? Such an ignominy - not like not even being able to read off the bloody thing!!!
Then there's a few who claim that Obama and his socialist agenda are silencing all dissidents, therefore said dissidents have to go and vent elsewhere. I could actually believe that, mainly basing my opinion on NuLab and *their* socialist agenda and attempts at muting all opposition, wherever it comes from. However, I also seem to remember people being cherry-picked for Dubya's public appearances, so as not to have some unexpected criticism broadcast by accident on Fox News. Stones and glasshouses, eh!
I won't even comment on those posters who say Obama is destroying healthcare and education, 'cos that's beyond a joke.
Anyway, least this sounds like an Obama eulogy, the guy is somewhat chillingly starting to remind me of one Mr Bliar (edookashun, edookashun, edookashun!) - the People's President and all that. Well, at least he had the decency of making his mind known about Sarko' overlooking the Queen for the D-Day celebrations with facts (I wouldn't be surprised if the missed dinner had something to do with it) rather than the rather pitiful bleating we had from some Scottish quarters about ensuring the Royal Family would get an invitation.
This is the guy who couldn't keep his own Cabinet together with a whole factory of Superglue, and he thinks he has the clout to tell the French gnome what to do? Hello Gordon, the coffee is ready!
It seems some USAmericans are throwing a strop at having been robbed of their beloved Dubya and his mates. It pisses them off so much that they have to go and flood a British newspaper column with their hilarious whining.
I mean, woe betide President Obama for snubbing Sarko', leader of their great allies... never mind that not so long ago something was renamed "freedom fries". Never mind, even, that the little man himself and his snotty wife had been bad-mouthing the Obamas behind their backs.
And bob forbid trying to start a dialogue with those filthy, dirty, uncouth, rag-headed, Middle-Eastern terrorists. Much better to nuke them, I say!
And what to say about his inability to hold a speech without a Teleprompter? Such an ignominy - not like not even being able to read off the bloody thing!!!
Then there's a few who claim that Obama and his socialist agenda are silencing all dissidents, therefore said dissidents have to go and vent elsewhere. I could actually believe that, mainly basing my opinion on NuLab and *their* socialist agenda and attempts at muting all opposition, wherever it comes from. However, I also seem to remember people being cherry-picked for Dubya's public appearances, so as not to have some unexpected criticism broadcast by accident on Fox News. Stones and glasshouses, eh!
I won't even comment on those posters who say Obama is destroying healthcare and education, 'cos that's beyond a joke.
Anyway, least this sounds like an Obama eulogy, the guy is somewhat chillingly starting to remind me of one Mr Bliar (edookashun, edookashun, edookashun!) - the People's President and all that. Well, at least he had the decency of making his mind known about Sarko' overlooking the Queen for the D-Day celebrations with facts (I wouldn't be surprised if the missed dinner had something to do with it) rather than the rather pitiful bleating we had from some Scottish quarters about ensuring the Royal Family would get an invitation.
This is the guy who couldn't keep his own Cabinet together with a whole factory of Superglue, and he thinks he has the clout to tell the French gnome what to do? Hello Gordon, the coffee is ready!
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