It's here!

So, tomorrow I'll start work in the "second" job. I'm still waiting for the first one so I thought I'd take this, just in case, and switch as soon as the other people call me. The other day I went to check out the place... can't say I'm too happy, it takes me 1 1/2 hours to get there :s
Oh well, I'll be doing lots of reading then :)

Anyway, I'm slightly panicky... I mean, enjoying my own time for over a year, and suddenly being thrown into 11-12 hours' days (including travel)? How am I going to fit in my walks from now on??? And sleeping in just at the weekend? And being organised? And getting dressed before noon? And how about the leisurely afternoons with friends, or gardening, or just bumming around? Arrrrrggggggghhhhhhhh!

While I was there I had a chat with the lady at reception. I mentioned that the last year (of unemployment) had had its benefits as I'd got fitter, done a few courses, got into gardening (with the added bonus of making friends on the estate for the first time in the 13 years I've lived here), lost weight and so on. She looked at me with absolute terror in her eyes, mumbling "oh no no no no!" as soon as I said "unemployment" and "has benefits" in the same breath. What is it about unemployment that is so terrible? It's true, I've had to cut down on expenses big time, for obvious reasons, but hey, it's not as if most of us don't have everything we need anyway. When deciding if I could accept the redundancy, I took stock of what I used to do and how I spent most of my money. Guess what? I could probably get by quite a few years without ever again buying clothes, household items, or leisure stuff such as books, CDs and DVDs. I have so much stuff that I hardly ever use, and even if I did in rotation it'd be quite a while before I'd get back to the start. I literally don't know where to put clothes anymore. I have hundreds of CDs and books (not too mention that instead of buying them, I could rent them from the library). DVDs I mainly rent for a pittance (and libraries have those too). The only thing I've missed, really, are the concerts but I'm sure I could survive without them (especially since I've won a few through competitions). Most of the money I used to spend when I was working went in things and activities that were meant to de-stress, but I've not needed to de-stress since I left work. London offers zillions of opportunities to do nice things and see nice places for free or very little money. Just take a packed lunch with you.

Yeah, nice cars, nice houses, holidays here and there and everywhere, weekends away, a good lifestyle... But is it? Or is it just for status? What's wrong with a small flat, public transport, sensible living within means and without waste? Is it really better to get all the additional things and then be stuck with the payments for the rest of your life, never being able to do what you really want because you're always tied down by the never-ending bills?

I suppose it's easy for me to say, as I have no commitments of any kind and the only thing I have to worry about are the basic bills, like gas, electric, that sort of stuff. If you have a family, or if you've never worked, it might be a tad harder to be able to shrug everything away. Of course it's also possible to take some time off here, due to the social security systems in place in the UK which are lacking in a lot of other places.

And I'm grateful that I had the chance in the past year... tomorrow, back to the grind :)

The Great Unwashed... the End

After just under a year of (welcome) unemployment, I started looking around in September. In the last couple of weeks I've been informed that both the applications I'd made since had been successful (including tests, interviews, etc...) pending background checks.

It seems I'll be rejoining the working masses soon!
It's strange. One of the two jobs (the one I will accept), is something I'm pretty sure I'll love and I'm quite keen to start. On the other hand, I've throughly enjoyed my time off and I'll miss having all this time to do things I like whenever I like, seeing friends, going for walks, reading, listening to music, eating properly and generally not being stressed out.
Hopefully the company I'll be working for is much better than my previous one, and that will keep the stress at bay :)

Today I was supposed to go to their head office to bring them various documents they need to see to progress the recruitment. As I was getting ready to go out, I grabbed a drink out of the fridge to take with me. As I was putting it in my bag I thought: hmmmm, strange... this doesn't feel very cold.

Then it dawned on me. On Monday I had guys from the council round to do an electrical safety test. After they left I kept finding stuff unplugged (they'd had to unplug everything to check the sockets) up until I went to bed, when I couldn't turn on the bedside lamp.
It never occurred to me to go around the flat checking everything was plugged in... and of course the fridge was also unplugged, as I realised this morning. I didn't notice before because I have a super-duper fridge freezer that keeps its temperature for ages even when switched off, provided the door isn't opened. I'd opened it a few times to take milk or food out but usually I only open a tiny bit, stick my hand in and retrieve it holding the item I wanted, without even looking in. Also, the internal light not always comes on so it didn't register when it didn't light up these past few days. And thankfully I had never opened the freezer since Monday.

Still, it was 3 days so I really panicked and called the council in despair. I explained the situation and that I had a couple of hundred pounds worth of food in the freezer that I didn't dare open and WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!!!
A few minutes later the two electricians that were here on Monday sheepishly turned up at my door to check. They were really apologetic and opened the freezer to check the damage. To my relief, most stuff was still frozen. The only things that had defrosted were those in the first drawer. Everything else was fine. Even the things that had defrosted were still extremely cold. We all heaved a sigh of relief, even though one of the guys got his hand covered in what seemed like blood. It was the juice from the defrosted forest fruits that had run all over the place :)))
Thanks Mr Bosch, I knew I was getting a good deal when I bought your appliances over ten years ago!

I am now busy cooking 2 1/2 kilos of salmon, a few bags of mixed seafood and some meat so I can freeze it again before it spoils - and dinner tonight? Forest fruits, of course!

Of course I had to call my future employer to explain the situation and ask them if it was ok for me to go tomorrow with all the paperwork, instead of today. I bet they're already regretting their choice :D :D :D

Beautiful people

The other week I bumped into an old colleague I hadn't seen for ages. He invited me to the end of year party his (Nigerian) community was having this weekend.
On Saturday he called me to remind me of it. To be honest, I was quite hesitant. I don't like crowds, and being in an unknown place surrounded by people I don't know sends me into a right panic. But I like the guy, I used to enjoy working with him, so I said yes, of course I'll be there.
Yesterday I wasn't feeling too well which, added to the panic above, meant I almost didn't go. However, in the end I kicked myself up the backside and forced myself to go out. Worst-case scenario, it was a good excuse for a walk and I could always come home without going in.
I found the place, and went in. He was busy dj-ing so I sat in a corner by the door, always ready to bolt out. Initially it wasn't too bad; I'd arrived pretty early and the place was half empty, so it felt pretty ok. As the evening progressed and people kept coming, I started getting more and more nervous and trying to blend in with the wallpaper, eyeing the door. People would smile at me and say hi as they came in, but I didn't know anyone so I felt really out of place and conspicuous. I think the only reason I stayed was that I was absolutely fascinated by the women there. I don't know if I'm the only one, but I think Nigerian women know a thing or two about how to impress: their clothes are wonderfully colourful and bright, and what can I say about the headgear? I used to work with a woman who occasionally would come to work in full Nigerian dress, but a room-full of them? I just couldn't take my eyes off!
Eventually my friend came to ask me why I wasn't sitting at one of the tables, so I told him I didn't know anyone and felt a bit weird. No problem - he moved my chair to the nearest table, had a word with one of the ladies sitting there to introduce me and told me to sit there!
We chatted a bit and she explained what was happening as various people made little speeches. The first one was the presentation of the kola nut, a Nigerian tradition to welcome guests in the house: the male hosts present and break the nut, and after everybody has partaken of it the party starts.
After that the food started arriving. All home-made stuff made by members of the community, all absolutely delicious - I ate it even though I don't usually have hot, spicy foods as they make me hiccup, but it was too good too pass! There were mountains of it, and all through the evening people kept passing around the tables with more, asking if I'd had enough food and drink, if they could get me something else, if I was ok, if I was hungry - even at the end of the night as I was getting ready to leave!

Between courses there were traditional dances and more speeches. One of the dances was designed to get children involved and amused (there were lots of them!). The Abigbo dance was stunning. People moving to the rhythm of a trance-like music, a crescendo of tribal sounds culminating in a final release of colour. I stood on the edge, watching enthralled.







A lady told me that it's a stress-reliever. She invited me to try it for myself, dance to the music and see how all my muscles would relax :)

Talking about which, I was invited to dance. One of the ladies came to ask me but I declined as I felt too embarrassed, what with my two left feet... Then another lady asked me and she wouldn't take no for an answer so I was dragged in. I felt incredibly self-conscious and wish I hadn't. Must try harder next time :)

I also wish I'd taken my other mobile with me because the pictures I took with the one I had don't half give justice to the amazing dresses!







A great evening, with beautiful, friendly, kind, hospitable, truly community-minded people. I'm grateful to my old colleague for inviting me and very thankful to all there for making me feel so welcome.

I was wrong

There's a girl I've known for almost 15 years. I've always quite liked her as she's generally sunny and good company, but I never thought much of her values and some of her attitudes to life. I always thought she was a bit on the selfish side and a user. That's probably another reason I liked her so much, because we're so different and part of me was fascinated by this difference. Then she had a child a few years ago. Maybe having this child changed something in her, or more likely I was just wrong in my assessment of her, but whatever the reason, I've been finding her more and more of a rock in the past year or so.

It started when I was debating whether to accept the redundancy, over a year ago; it continued in the month just before I was made redundant, when I was panicking about being jobless for practically the first time in my life and telling myself I'd made the wrong choice.
And suddenly I had all this time on my hands, which meant I saw a lot more of her than at any other time since I met her (although not as much as I'd envisioned while I was still working, as I ended up being quite busy even without a job). Almost naturally I started spilling the beans when things weren't exactly as I would have hoped, on whatever front.

And there's a time for sympathy, but there's also a time for having some sense slapped in your face. Lisa is pretty good at that. She somehow manages to be there, when her own life is all over the place, and say just the right thing at the right time. She can be very brutal, but the important thing is that she's usually right and it's good to be reminded of a few home truths by someone you know is on your side and knows exactly what you're talking about, however brutal they might be at that moment.

It's pretty good to be reminded that things are really simple. They're only as complicated as you want them to be, but in reality they're pretty clear cut.

And in the past few weeks she's reminded me that I'm not as bad as I'd started to feel about myself; that if you care for someone you respect them; that you should never give unconditionally; that if you haven't learnt basic laws of simple human decency by the time you're 30, well, that's really nobody else's problems but yours and why should anyone bother explaining them to you; that I'm not responsible for anybody's problems that they brought upon themselves, therefore I shouldn't worry too much and pussyfoot around in fear of making them worse and feeling guilty about them; that you should only do something if it's good for you, even if it might indirectly negatively affect someone who's been hurting you for months with no thoughts of how badly they were making you feel. Most of all, that a liar's a liar's a liar. Very simple.

All obvious stuff, isn't it? But sometimes I do need to have it brutally slapped in my face, and this time was one of those.

And it's good to have friends, even (especially?) if they prove you wrong :)