On Saturday he called me to remind me of it. To be honest, I was quite hesitant. I don't like crowds, and being in an unknown place surrounded by people I don't know sends me into a right panic. But I like the guy, I used to enjoy working with him, so I said yes, of course I'll be there.
Yesterday I wasn't feeling too well which, added to the panic above, meant I almost didn't go. However, in the end I kicked myself up the backside and forced myself to go out. Worst-case scenario, it was a good excuse for a walk and I could always come home without going in.
I found the place, and went in. He was busy dj-ing so I sat in a corner by the door, always ready to bolt out. Initially it wasn't too bad; I'd arrived pretty early and the place was half empty, so it felt pretty ok. As the evening progressed and people kept coming, I started getting more and more nervous and trying to blend in with the wallpaper, eyeing the door. People would smile at me and say hi as they came in, but I didn't know anyone so I felt really out of place and conspicuous. I think the only reason I stayed was that I was absolutely fascinated by the women there. I don't know if I'm the only one, but I think Nigerian women know a thing or two about how to impress: their clothes are wonderfully colourful and bright, and what can I say about the headgear? I used to work with a woman who occasionally would come to work in full Nigerian dress, but a room-full of them? I just couldn't take my eyes off!
Eventually my friend came to ask me why I wasn't sitting at one of the tables, so I told him I didn't know anyone and felt a bit weird. No problem - he moved my chair to the nearest table, had a word with one of the ladies sitting there to introduce me and told me to sit there!
We chatted a bit and she explained what was happening as various people made little speeches. The first one was the presentation of the kola nut, a Nigerian tradition to welcome guests in the house: the male hosts present and break the nut, and after everybody has partaken of it the party starts.
After that the food started arriving. All home-made stuff made by members of the community, all absolutely delicious - I ate it even though I don't usually have hot, spicy foods as they make me hiccup, but it was too good too pass! There were mountains of it, and all through the evening people kept passing around the tables with more, asking if I'd had enough food and drink, if they could get me something else, if I was ok, if I was hungry - even at the end of the night as I was getting ready to leave!
Between courses there were traditional dances and more speeches. One of the dances was designed to get children involved and amused (there were lots of them!). The Abigbo dance was stunning. People moving to the rhythm of a trance-like music, a crescendo of tribal sounds culminating in a final release of colour. I stood on the edge, watching enthralled.
A lady told me that it's a stress-reliever. She invited me to try it for myself, dance to the music and see how all my muscles would relax :)
Talking about which, I was invited to dance. One of the ladies came to ask me but I declined as I felt too embarrassed, what with my two left feet... Then another lady asked me and she wouldn't take no for an answer so I was dragged in. I felt incredibly self-conscious and wish I hadn't. Must try harder next time :)
I also wish I'd taken my other mobile with me because the pictures I took with the one I had don't half give justice to the amazing dresses!
A great evening, with beautiful, friendly, kind, hospitable, truly community-minded people. I'm grateful to my old colleague for inviting me and very thankful to all there for making me feel so welcome.
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