Responsibility? What responsibility?

What is it with men and commitment?

You meet someone, have a chat, get on really well together, have common aspirations. In the early days they're all over you like a rash, keep chasing you up and pushing for things to move faster. They swear blind that they'll support you and make sure you'll never be let down, tell you they'll always be there, say you can count on them and they'll make sure that things will work. A day doesn't go by without them contacting you, telling you they can't wait to get together and get things off the ground, that they really want you to join in what promises to be a great meeting of kindred spirits. They'll teach you, they'll guide you, they'll show you the way.

You're scared. It's something so far out of your comfort zone that you really doubt you can make it. But they so go on and on that it will work out that you start feeling safe, that should you get stuck they'll promptly step in and help you out, make sure your beautiful partnership will be so strong you'll never regret it. So your confidence builds up and you tentatively go for it. You're at the planning stages and talk and talk and talk, you've no idea what you're doing but they're so confident and full of themselves, telling you they'll always be there for you. And you make plans, you draw guidelines, you decide what you'll be doing and how...

Everything goes swimmingly, you almost start getting smug at how easy this seems. You're still a bit scared, and occasionally you might feel you can't carry on, but as soon as you mention it they rush in and tell you not to worry, they'll sort everything out. They're in charge!

Then the hard work starts.
Suddenly they're nowhere to be seen. When you call them to ask for help, they're ill, or they're too busy with work just now, or they're away, or their children are demanding their time, or the cat has died. So you try talking to them, offer to lighten up the load; if they can't cope with a full commitment they might be able to settle on something different that makes everybody happy. Oh no, I'll have all or nothing! How dare you offer me a smaller deal when you know perfectly well that I want it all!

And so it was that out of about 15 people at the first community garden meeting, 5 of them male, when there were boxes to build and position, dirt, manure and compost to shovel, heavy stuff to move around, lack of tools to deal with and alternative ideas to be thought, complaints from silly neighbours to negotiate, 10 of them have been turning up in the past couple of months, none of them with testicles. Balls, yes, but testicles? No.

What? Promises and commitment? You mean there's more than words to this if I want it to work??? I'm shocked and confused, never saw this coming! I hadn't realised I'd actually have to stick to my word and carry out my promises when I committed myself to be there. I really, really want to be part of this wonderful project, but you don't mean you thought I'd actually be up for dirtying my hands in horse shit, or do some heavy lifting? I never said I would, did I??? Excuse me, now I must go and attend to the hamster, but don't worry, I'll turn up when all's ready and there's fun to be had (provided Match of the Day isn't on)! And none of those smaller vegetable patches for me, I want the big motherfucking one, of course!

But that's ok, it's cheaper than going to the gym, and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger :)

In other news...

The Pope is a Catholic - but only in summer.

Fish at Leamington Spa, 8-9 August 2009

Thanks to some great friends, I managed to make this wonderful weekend away in a lovely town I'd never been to before.

Despite hardly drinking at all, I got back wrecked and it took me most of the week to recover (not aided, I might add, by a few spells of heavy gardening!).

However, it was worth it, and here's proof :)))







And of course, the big man himself!



The Company I choose :)))

Busy bees!

Been all over the place lately, and only just got around to uploading a few photos taken some weeks ago. Local woods, flora and fauna :)










Some time ago I posted the picture of a local tree that I love, as when it's in bloom it has some gorgeous colours. I only take pictures with my mobile, so it didn't really look as it really was. Here it is in its full glory, thanks to a friend who took a "proper" picture and let me have it!



According to this lot, you can thank... err... Him :)

Come again?

I've lost a considerable amount of weight lately.

Yesterday I popped in to see my ex manager and colleagues who remarked on it and said: "Oh, now you can stop wearing all those t-shirts and baggy clothes, and wear nice fitted tops and stuff, all feminine and lady-like".

Lady what? I replied. To which they all laughed. They've known me for almost 15 years and I think my complete disregard for clothes and preference for extremely casual wear is no secret.

So I was slightly miffed later in the evening when my aunt called (who's known me since I was born). In the past week or so there's been a major family disagreement: I received an invitation for a cousin's wedding to which I have no intention of going, reason being that I couldn't care less about this cousin.

Obviously she's aunt to both of us so it wouldn't be a good idea to slag her off to her, as that would put her in a position of taking sides, which is not desirable. For this reason I've been trying to be as subtle as possible, without coming out and clearly stating that I don't give a toss about the cousin nor her wedding. A friend being in London on that very weekend has served this purpose very well, as I can't be in two places at the same time.
However, subtlety was obviously being interpreted as "she really wants to be here for the wedding and wishes there was a way of getting out of the friend's arrangements".
So, the conversation went a bit like this:

Aunt: "Well, I understand that she's a very close friend of yours, but see how things go and maybe nearer the time you might decide to attend after all".
Raingod: "Actually, I don't think so, I don't think it would be a good idea".
A: "I understand, really, if it wasn't this friend it'd be easier to make it. But don't worry, there's still time".
R: "...".
A: " And you know, it's not a problem at all 'cos even if you decide at the last minute, there's that black dress you wore some time ago you could use, or one of your linen suits. Even I'm not having anything special done, I'd initially thought about a dress but then the seamstress suggested that a skirt and jacket suit would be better because I can use it again (cue a half hour disquisition about the pros and cons of a summer dress with cardie in September versus a skirt and jacket suit)".
R (and I'm proud to say, I managed to keep the next bit an internal exclamation, not uttering one word of it out loud): "What... the... fuck?!? You and the rest of the family have been playing every guilt trick on the book to force me to attend a fucking wedding I don't give a damn about, of a person I don't give a damn about, and you'd expect *me* to turn up in anything other than jeans and a t-shirt?!?".
R (out loud): "Auntie, friend or no friend, I really think it would be inappropriate to attend the wedding of someone I haven't talked to in 5 years. My cousin could have found the time to ring me some time during those 5 years if she'd been interested, so could I. Fact is, neither of us did, 'cos we weren't interested".
A: "Oh".

Now I've only got the other aunt to deal with (the bride's mother), and my father (the bride's uncle). Fun times ahead!

But the other interesting question arising from yesterday is: why is what you wear so important? Or rather, why do people think that when you lose weight, you automatically acquire an irresistible urge and desire to wear "pretty", feminine, lady-like clothes, after a life time spent happily wearing jeans and t-shirts?
And why do they think you're the tiniest bit bothered about what to wear at a wedding you have made it clear you don't want to go to in the first place???

Enquiring minds need to know.